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Sunday, January 10, 2010, 1/10/2010 09:16:00 AM
最近想了很多。。。

突然之间我发觉作为独生女的我,必须清醒了。

清醒


Sunday, December 06, 2009, 12/06/2009 08:45:00 AM
Perfect - Fairground Attraction

"It's got to be, purrrrrrfect."



I've decided to jote down whatever fun & great stuffs i've done through this precious 1mth of holidays. It shall also be a personal reminder for me to really try & enjoy this holidays to the fullest. MY. VERY. PRECIOUS. 30. DAYS. :) Hahaha i rly think it'll be damn damn damn dreadful when it's time to go back to sch. I think i've never found such a strong urge to enjoy the holidays before everythg is gone until i came to uni. I really felt more of the *Liberation!* feeling aft sem1 exams than Alevels. It wasn't because Alevels was easy or anythg, it's probably just the school life, hecticness and quick pace all jumbled up together for uni that made me yearn for a break SO MUCH. It's really Break, or Break. Hahah, or at least my neck and shoulders will if I don't get this Dec break okay.


K soooo far i've done:

Chilling aft last day of exams
Shoppinggg
Continue on my reading habit
Meetup w Che
Meetup w dearest 2/4 for XiaoLongBao Buffet (!!!!)
Volunteer work for Tulip Hearts Day w PyWahSteffiAmandaMingyaoChiaWeei (lol)

Next up:

LTB Steamboat
Smarties (:






All Over Again.


Monday, October 19, 2009, 10/19/2009 08:48:00 AM
can it get any worse?

the day actually began when i only had 1.5 hours of sleep last night.
i was chionging for my Tues presentation with my BGS group.
(DAMN LAME but i just got to knw that we are NOT presenting tmr because others volunteered to do it earlier moments ago. -.-)

TODAY:

:( - mood cranky

:( - got back FA mids early in the morning. FLUNKED IT LIKE ____.

:( - went to class for stats quiz, FLUNKED IT LIKE ____ AGAIN
when the qn wasnt difficult at all. was feeling too horrible before that & i panicked like usual...

:( - got back Stats mids after quiz. ultimate irony. i got full for my written & failed my MCQs. its qt absurd but MCQs are worth 4 mark each. and written has less percentage compared to MCQs? which explained why i did so badly. so, FLUNKED IT LIKE _____ AGAIN x 2.

:( - wasnt feeling well enough to go for CT meeting & now i dont know whats going on despite reading the email updates.

:( - STRESSED. feeling is qt sucky when everythg's cumulative unlike JC but my stupid JC mentality still stays... esp the hoverings between passing & failing. then i tried to calculate my results & stuffs. after today, im freaking faraway from my original goal of getting scholarship so i dont hv to pay for my sch fees.

im feeling esp horrible when i realised no matter how much hard work i put in for my finals, i might only be able to get a C or worse. the mids alr took up 30% for Stats. ohmy.
& since GPA is cumulative for the terms, im suiciding my other terms' GPA as well.
i might just screw up so much that its impossible for me to bridge the gap in later terms for my dear scholarship. )':

DESSERTS.
DESSERTS.
DESSERTS.

so... i guess i've only got one way out!
really work damn hard for my finals.
& really achieve the impossible for both my mods???
*doubts
*SERIOUS DOUBTS.

i can alr sense intense muggings ahead!

ah, but i hope i dont get too stressed out by then.

hvnt been feeling like that since a long time ago....
wht a horrible day right? :(
the :( feeling lingers.



sigh.



I SHALL NOT BE A LOSER,

RACHEL MUST GO ON! :)
















Sunday, September 13, 2009, 9/13/2009 06:03:00 AM
before i read a certain blog entry just a moment ago,
i felt my Sunday was horrible.
i had so many things on hand for me to do, for me to meet each & every deadline.
i gave Sixsy's Mugging Session a miss cause of all these.

things like:
Financial Accounting tutorial
Case Study 3
Study for FA Quiz tomorrow morning
Stats tutorial
LTB Stuffs
BaikHeart Stuffs

& then im left with 1 night after settling some.
i seriously wonder how am i going to finish everything by tomorrow.
yes i can, probably by burning midnight oil tonight.

my nose is also giving my problems these days because of the lift construction at my area.

but... whats all these compared to what she's going through?
aft reading her blog entry,
im very sure she is feeling much worse than me.

PLEASE TAKE CARE MY DEAR FRIEND.
I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE, ALRIGHT?
YOU'LL PULL THROUGH ALL THESE.
HOPEFULLY THGS WILL TURN BETTER SOON!


Friday, September 04, 2009, 9/04/2009 09:29:00 AM
emo post ahead.

Week 3.

never felt so busy with Sch Life before.
though it is a plus point i can wake up later than JC days on some days, but on most days i end up sleeping later than usual.

my happy perfect 3-day week became a 5-day week?!
soon it will evolve to 7-day week i think.
& im gg to sch for morning lesson on a freaking saturday.

I WANT TO GO JOGGING LAH.

sigh.

im hoping its Pre-MS but i doubt it is. ):
emoshitzzz.
i havent been seeing or even merely really talking (HTHT) to the close/best friends i've since..... SOLONGAGO.
i dont know if its the hectic sch life but i really dont feel the closeness with people anymore.
i feel like im a loner at times?
this lingering feeling started since uni i think...

smtimes i'll start to wonder if anyone will bother abt me when all of them get busy.
& i doubt anyone knows abt my nose issues as well...
or maybe its more like nobody is interested.
but i know i cant blame anyone.
because really, everyone has more impt stuffs on hand to deal with?

worse still, its a vice versa thg.
like how i dont knw much about others as well.
and i'll tend to feel bad tht i cant help my close friends whenever they're sad or need help.
i hope che is coping well with her sch & family now...
the weekly friday night meetings we wanted cldnt be realised anymore cause we're all too busy for sch work. :(

actually, me & huimin (smu) are gg through the same thgs in sch nw.
& then we'll emo abit tgt at times. sigh.
hi-bye frds & stuffs like tht are making us gloomy.

so as usual, whenever i talk to ong, the conversation stops halfway cause she's too busy to reply.
its qt scary to see how she doesnt even hv the time to reply SMSes or pick up calls. RLY HOPE SHE CAN SURVIVE THE YEARS.

its ONLY week 3.
gosh.

why did it all turned out this way?








OKKKKK, I CAN GET OVER THIS.

YES I CAN.









Saturday, August 08, 2009, 8/08/2009 12:53:00 AM
im hooked.....

It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you
I might just disappear

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn around on one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe
That's theres no way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our lives

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

There's still time to turn this around
You could building this up instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I finally see
Maybe we're not meant to be

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, baby I'm sorry to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

onto Not Meant To Be - Theory Of A Deadman. (!!!)
beautiful lyrics. :)

CANT WAIT FOR SLEEPOVER AT JK'S HSE W 2/4!
but aye, im still coughing away.
ITS BEEN SO LONG BUT THE COUGH IS DAMN PERSISTENT.
damnit.

ohyes...
im currently done w the bidding of modules for semester1.
dont knw if im lucky or what, i actually got all my bids successfully. LOL.
so im gna hv a 3 day week as i planned. (!!!!!!!)
wednesdays & fridays are currently free.
xiong days are monday and thurs.
esp monday, which i feel abit daunted abt. lol.
lessons start at 8.30, all the way till 3.15 with only 15mins break in btwn.
(screaming in my mind: THEN WHEN'S LUNCH RIGHT???)

hahah.
& im supposed to actually use the 15mins to move from accountancy sch to econs sch. NOT V NEAR LAH. -.-
this leaves me w....
getting ready all my cornflakes, lunchbox & snacks then. :)


i left the Caretalyst (CIP) Camp earlier cause of my worsening cough...
left on the 2nd night so i didnt get to go to the houses of the old folks to clean up & repaint their houses. but on the 2nd day we went to Charis, a studentcare centre for low family income kids...
the entire thg turned out qt funny.

we had to do up a modified version of Three Little Pigs skit to teach them the importance of saving up, recognizing their needs & wants...
so we started planning & distributing roles.
i became the straw house because everyone kind of agreed tht i had this nua vibe w me. (?!?!)

"ohyah, you look very strawy!"
"yes, you look like straw leh!"

RIGHT.
hahaha.

at Charis, other than the skit we went on w playing other games like Blow Wind Blow & Masak Masak Game with them.
i felt this Generation Gapzzz w them cause i really didnt knw what is Nintendo DS.
i've always thought Nintendo DS & PSP are the same thg.
and i got laughed at when i asked the kids what's DS. (....)

the little girls called me and huimin pretty jiejies ok.
whoosh. ;x

and Zhiwei/Keith (my facil) said if i werent wearing the caretalyst shirt,
i look like one of the kids there.
SHEESH.

we had to write our names on masking tape & paste it on our shirts.
& at the end of the day when we're leaving, the kids decided to paste theirs on my shirt.
so i had this collection of masking tape names.
SHALL POST THE PICS OF IT LATER (:



ah, despite all of these...
I. Dont. Want. To. Start. School.








Sunday, August 02, 2009, 8/02/2009 10:01:00 AM
everytime i really feel like blogging, the font table doesnt come out.
& when i dont, it strangely appears.
its getting rly, rly irritating. -.-

ah, its been so long...
& i still cant get the fact into me tht uni's starting in a few week's time (!!!)
9 months of holidays gone just like tht!
i dont want to start sch... :(

21 Guns - Green Day
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?
When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

SIGH.
through this pre-uni period i realised some stuffs...
smtimes when this whole university life thg gets to you,
there's just so many new thgs to cope w!

(and note: im still struggling to cope w the stuffs.
and getting myself used to SMU culture.
SIGHSIGHSIGH. :( )

& then you tend to just forget some other stuffs when yr mind gets clogged up w everythg else.
the scariest thg is tht sch hasnt even officially started.
its a gradual process, but the mind gets slowly occupied with new stuffs.
as much as you rly dont wish to forget the old.

it sounds like smth inevitable...

but tht doesnt mean im giving up!

so far, i've been seriously struggling to keep up w the SMU culture thou.
wah&i just felt like maybe both of us wld hv been so much happier in NTU or NUS.
but we did figured tht we ought to just look fwd & face everythg.
it'll be a pretty gd form of trng i feel...
LETS SURVIVE IT TGT BABE!

two camps down.
FTB & BONDUE.
FTB was great :)
Bondue was..... awful at times.
i just cldnt click w the ppl there. :(
one last camp to go for.
BUT IM DAMN SICK OF CAMPS ALR. -.-
i might just leave earlier w huimin. hahaha.

aft all these shit,
im thankful for the constants in my life. :)


i missed out on a few outings when i was sick last week.
DAMNIT LAH. :(
i randomly became a suspect of h1n1 but im almost fully recovered so its nt too bad.
just left with the cough tht doesnt seem to go away.....

im starting to wonder how's everyone doing!
cldnt manage to catch up w everyone w the busy schedule....
xian, huimin, cheryl, chloe, pu, sam, ven, poh, dog, sze, lx, dan, sj girls & the 2/4 guys...
i cant wait for national day sleepover. (!!!) :D

TMR IM FINALLY SEEING POLLYBAO & CHE. (: (: (:




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